Rainbow Babies
You may ask what does ‘rainbow babies’ mean? Well, it’s a term a mentor of mine uses to describe any form of loss of a child (unborn/born) which I find to be a much gentler and caring term and approach than the term ‘miscarriage’.
For the purposes of this blog, I will be using the term ‘rainbow babies’ to describe miscarriage/still born babies. This blog is for you, a mother, a father who have experienced the devastating loss of your baby.
It’s not an easy journey losing a child, no matter what stage and the grief can leave you feeling a vast array of emotions. And as with grief it can be really messy. There is no right or wrong way to experience grief, it is your own personal journey and it will take as long as it takes to come to terms with your loss. I wrote another blog called ‘Grief and Loss – Unbearable Invisible Pain’ which will give you an insight into grief, how to communicate with someone who is grieving and the importance of continued connection with your loved one.
I want to get into specifics about rainbow babies. Every parent, mother or father, can have a different experience after having a rainbow baby. Some can get back in the saddle, start living and try again whilst others, maybe even you, can experience a whole range of feelings and cannot see the forest for the trees. You can feel shock and grief, anger, emptiness, devastation, sometimes feel guilty and a loss of confidence in your body, just to name a few emotions. The thing is, either way it’s okay, and it’s also okay to not be okay.
The Unbearable
invisible pain
You may have had your rainbow baby in the first few weeks or maybe much later on in the pregnancy. Maybe your gut (intuition) was telling you something was wrong and maybe it happened without any warning at all. One thing is for sure and it’s important to know that you are definitely not alone. Statistics vary however, it is reported that up to one in every four/five pregnancies will end in a rainbow baby. Unfortunately, this is a fact of life however you need to know that if this was to happen there is support out there to help you. You may have had a rainbow baby early on in the pregnancy and no one, or very few people knew and you may feel you have to go through the grief alone or that people wouldn’t understand, maybe feeling isolated and alone. Remember you are not alone!
Grieving is actually more an unconscious (subconscious) mind process. Once the unconscious mind processes that you can actually keep the love and heal your heart, it is then that the real grieving and healing process can start. This is where hypnotherapy can be a wonderful resource to help you.
Now, I’m going to tell you a little story about a young lady who came to me some time ago who not only had to deal with her father passing away prematurely, she also had two miscarriages at differing stages of pregnancy in a relatively short timeframe. She had shut down, wasn’t having conversations with her partner, felt anxious, unsettled, agitated, overwhelmed, lost confidence, felt sad, crying, empty and guilty. She wanted to conceive again however was stuck. She felt disconnected from her father and her rainbow babies.
By the end of a few sessions her life had turned around. She was more hopeful, positive about life, not fretting about getting pregnant/not getting pregnant or getting a period/spotting. She was much calmer, communicating better with her partner and was more productive at work. She felt more at peace in regards to her father’s passing and reconnected with her two rainbow babies. She started healing and felt them all in her heart, she felt at peace and whole again. The interesting and most wonderful thing happened during our time together - she fell pregnant and it felt different this time. She is going well, her doctor advised her that everything was going well which made me so happy when I checked in on her.
I felt so honoured that this courageous young woman came to me for help. Hypnosis is not a magic pill however sometimes it can seem magical because it just works!
Now you can find all sorts of information about the causes, the risk factors of having a rainbow baby and preventative actions you can adopt to have a successful pregnancy. Ensure you liaise with your doctor and if you have had two rainbow babies then suggest you obtain a referral to see a specialist.
Whether you are a mother or father, my Rainbow Babies program can help you reconnect with your rainbow baby and feel whole and more at peace again. I can also help you prepare for another pregnancy.
When you’re ready. I am here to assist you. Contact me for a complimentary talk.
