Are you feeling lonely?
Let’s start off with some real statistics according to Swinburne University’s Australian Loneliness Report 2018 [1]:
One in four adults are lonely!
One in two (50.5%) feel lonely at least one day a week
One in four (27.6%) feel lonely for three or more days.
Lonely Australians are 15.2% more likely to succumb to depression and 13.1% are more likely to be anxious about social interactions than those no lonely.
Frightening statistics and that was prior to COVID!!!
What is loneliness?
…
So what is loneliness?
Loneliness – it’s a state of mind… it’s an awful feeling. For some, they feel empty, sad, lost, for others they feel like they’re all alone and some can just feel like they’re unwanted. [2]
Loneliness can be a symptom of depression in which withdrawal and isolation is a common. It can even be situational e.g. physical isolation from moving to a new town/location/job, divorce, breakup or from the death of a significant person or loved one in your life.
Loneliness can also be linked to those that haven’t very good social skills, introverts who are much less likely to pursue connections can succumb to feelings of isolation, depression and social isolation. People who have low self-esteem or confidence can often feel lonesome as they also sometimes don’t feel that they are worthy and/or are deserving of any attention or regard from others and this can lead to a life of isolation and illness.
In a nutshell loneliness is an indicator that we are disconnected. Loneliness is where you can feel isolated even if you are wanting to be social. You can even be lonely in a room full of people.
It was only the other week that I was feeling really down and sad. I live on my own, we’re in lockdown now and I’m an introvert to boot. Yes, I love my solitude, I recharge better alone however I do like to go out and socialise. The thing is, I didn’t even recognise that I was actually feeling lonely until much later. It had just crept up on me however once I had this epiphany, and realised what was happening, I put a plan together to get out of that headspace and get connected with people again. What I did first was ring a friend!
Now you may say ‘I love being alone’, and yes, that may be true for you however there is a difference between loneliness and solitude. Solitude is voluntary – it’s something we do to have down time, to better focus and recharge. Many people love solitude, they enjoy their own company however they maintain social relationships. So, when they feel a need to connect with others, they take action. There’s balance!!
One thing is for sure, loneliness has a definite impact upon our physical and mental well-being. It can lead to chronic illnesses and can have a wide range of detrimental effects such has:
· Substance abuse
· Altered brain function
· Alzheimer’s disease progression
· Anti-social behaviour
· Cardiovascular disease and stroke
· Decreased memory and learning
· Depression and suicide
· Increased stress levels
· Poor decision making. [3]
Did you know that there was a study that states that loneliness can actually be contagious? Just like laughter! Research found that “non lonely people who spend time with lonely people are more likely to develop feelings of loneliness”. [4]
You know the old saying, live with a cripple, develop a limp!!
Loneliness is also rampant in aged care facilities however that is a whole other topic which I’ll cover in another blog later on.
How to prevent loneliness?
You don’t have to accept loneliness and it can be overcome however it does require some conscious effort to make that change. Nothing changes unless there is change.
· Community service or volunteer, join a group (connect with people)
· Expect the best (instead of rejection – stay positive)
· Recognise that loneliness is a sign that you need to make changes in your life. You need to reconnect!
· Know the effects that loneliness has on your life mentally and physically. When you do, make more changes
· Strengthen existing relationships and build new ones. Call a friend or family member.
· Reach out and talk to someone about how you’re feeling.
· Movement, exercise – garden, walk – do something and get those good feelings happening.
· Get outside in the sun – Vitamin D. It should increase your mood!
I know what loneliness is like so if you would like some help, just give me a call or book in for a free 30 minute consultation. We can have a chat about what’s going on and how I can help you.
We can conduct sessions face-to-face at my clinic or online in the comfort of your own home. Either way, hypnosis and coaching can help.
Contact me for a Free Consultation - CLICK HERE or contact me here.
Sources:
3. Xia N, Li H. Loneliness, social isolation, and cardiovascular health. Antioxid Redox Signal. 2018 Mar 20;28(9):837-851. doi:10.1089/ars.2017.7312
4. Miller G. Social neuroscience. Why loneliness is hazardous to your health. Science 2011;331(6014):138-40. doi:10.1126/science.331.6014.138
